So apparently mum and dad can’t be proud of us until we have a takeaway empire. They just found out their neighbours daughter is part of Liz Truss’ cabinet and went to Oxford and stuff, and their other kid is something respectable like a doctor, so we bring shame on the family by not being a professional of some sort, and for drinking too much and wasting money on useless shit like holidays and Elf Bars. Time to give mum something to brag about at family gatherings then… Awabi is doing takeaway as of tomorrow. Just lunch for now. Collection only. Order in-person, via email or telephone until we can think of a better system.

Little known fact about us – our coffee is up there with some of the best in Jersey. Our rotating selection of ‘single origin’ beans are sourced by London-based @workshopcoffee. We’re not totally sure what ‘single origin’ means but we guess it’s a bit like how we only get our spuds from uncle John’s patch instead of loads of random farmers because his are really good and everyone else’s are all green and minging. Oh, and they use these beans in dead posh places like Heston Blumenthal’s @dinnerbyhb, @harveynichols, and @claridgeshotel so they must be good. Now available to takeaway from 12pm onwards every day – just don’t expect any latte art on top, we’re really shit at that as you can see.

Whoops - I’m on my 69th Cheeky Vimto of the day and totes forgot to put my OOO on. We’re closed for staff holidays until September 5th. (Cheeky little weekend in Skegness for me if you’re asking, got a brill deal on TUI, 10/10 would recommend)

‘NO, NOT SUSHI NOT FROM JAPAN MADAME’ Korean gimbap - seaweed and rice rolls that most definitely aren’t sushi you bloody philistine. We knocked up this little spark notes so you don’t need to feel like a knob when it’s time to order in front of your Tinder date and you don’t know the difference: Name: Gimbap | Sushi Country: 🇰🇷 | 🇯🇵 Rice seasoning: Sesame/ perilla oil | Vinegar Protein: Cooked meats/cheese | Raw fish Vegetables: Cooked/ preserved | Raw Pickles: Yes | No 1. SPAM and crabstick 2. Bulgogi beef 3. Tofu Lunchtime only. Starting Wednesday.

Snap, crackle and pop went t’Thailand on their gap yaaaaaaarrr and found themselves after one too many shroom shakes at a full moon party. Breakfast hasn’t been the same since. Puffed rice Thai spiced peanuts Coriander Red onion Ginger Fish sauce and lime SPAM (or not) Puffed rice salad available all day (not just brekkie). THEY’RE GRR-RR-EAT! Namaste🙏

Lol, Chinese people are so extra with their naming. Take these prawns - they’re smothered in salt cured egg yolks which have a sandy texture so they’re known as ‘Golden Sand’ prawns. Yum, sand. Eggy, salty, umami and a little bit chip shop curry (and I can confirm taste nothing like faceplanting into Portelet bay): Battered prawns Salted duck egg yolk Jersey butter Fresh curry leaves Chilli Garlic The last dish of our birthday month menu. Available until the end of next week but if you’re into them we’ll whack ‘em on the regular menu.

A head nod to our Portuguese bredren who are themselves purveyors of some of the pengest munch on Jersey, and our shared love of funky smelling fish. A dish that might as well be Macau’s national dish (imagine a collab between the Rice Bowl and Alfonso’s) — this is Cantonese Bacalhau fried rice. It’s basically an egg fried rice juiced up to the gills with umami via a triumvirate of salted cod, sweet Chinese Lap Cheong sausage and lashings of fish sauce. Part of our birthday menu.

Absolutely bangingly luscious silky Mangalitsa pork Ragu made with organic super sweated down soffrito and plump San Marzano tomatoes, spiked with perfectly square cuboids of wonderfully creamy buffalo mozzarella from Campania (IYKYK), and finished with a smattering of ground Tellicherry black peppercorns and julienned chives. DO NOT MISS THIS lol. Whoops… wrong client. 🤪 New Mapo tofu dish aka the queen of Szechuanese dishes. Spicy, salty, sweet, umami — it’s basically an Asian pork bolognese anyway (I like to think this is what Marco Polo’s nonna made when he came back from his gap ye-arrr with Szechuan peppercorns and doubanjiang 🤌) Spicy pork sausage Tofu Ginger Garlic Szechuan peppercorn Ask for extra Szechuan peppercorn oil if you don’t want to feel your mouth until next Tuesday. Part of our birthday month menu. #uglydelicious

BAAAAAA! 🐐 ‘The Last Dance’ in liquid form. But sub MJ for our Szchicest Daiquiri foam and Rodman for some Korean sauce. ‘Son of a G.O.A.T’ Gin Gochujang honey Lime Yuzu foam Available during April as part of our 2nd birthday cocktail menu which mashes up classics from both our food and drink menus.

God, we thought we were proper mad c**ts with our Japanese French Toast. Well here’s a Japanese Scotch egg for Easter. Proper fusion food, this. Free-range corn fed chicken Katsu @sproutsfarmclub organic hen’s eggs Tonkatsu sauce MSG mayo White cabbage Lemon Asians don’t celebrate Easter so we’re open as usual: Friday: 12:00-2:00pm, 5:30-11:00pm Saturday: 12:00-2:00pm, 5:30-11:00pm Sunday: Closed Monday: Closed

Birthday drinkies! 🍹 To celebrate us entering our terrible twos Loreen has come up with some mad cocktails that mash-up the best of both our bar and food menus. Picture the scene - it’s the staff party. Everyone’s steaming. The Purple Mezcal and the Wing spice have been hitting it off all night. Things are getting proper flirty. One thing leads to another. At St James some ‘stuff’ happens on the dance floor. A Premiere Inn gets booked. The next day everyone’s looking a bit sheepish. The ‘Are You Kid-Ding’ is born: Mezcal Tequila Cointreau Lime Agave Wing spice rim Available all throughout birthday month.

Lol, we silently turned 2 years old, and no one remembered as we’re all so sleep deprived from running a business, and having babies that don’t know what sleep is. A new dish every week throughout April to celebrate 🎉. Starting with a yinyang of new wings - Thai-glazed fish sauce or Korean fried. (…and yes…that means no more Szechuan wings…again!) Launches tomorrow.