The power of radiant light

I just have to finish this row 🛶 • • • • It has been a VERY long time since really being active on here. I can’t promise that I will be as active as I was before, but I DO miss the connections we would make when I would have something to share… it was often a novel! Haven’t felt like saying much, so I’ve decided to listen and observe. Sometimes not even that— I just manage breathe and exist on some of the best days. I’ve undergone a huge growth period—my messiest yet! (Yay 🥹😅) as many have already gathered. Just popping on to say, “hi!” And let you folks know that I am still here. • • •

Having some Chocolate Fun • • • Take a lil bite, bb 🤎

I hadn’t stayed up all night on my bedroom floor to make something in a long time! This was a fun project that took me through all the usual stages of creating—including the, “why did I even start this?!” Feeling at 3am. Something I know for sure is that it will always be worth it when finally see what you put your energy into. Don’t give up on something because it isn’t looking like you imagined it to… chances are that it will be even better. Stay open. • • • My daughter @nalion asked me what is one thing I am looking forward to letting go of and then, what am I looking forward to committing to in this new year? I didn’t have an answer at the time. For someone who has always known what I am doing, not looking forward to anything was a scary place to be. So I dug deep. In doing so, I opened myself to see what excites me when the usual things no longer did. And I found it. I will commit to being in a constant state of learning anything that peaks my interest. • • • It no longer matters how I have been identified or how I identify myself by my work or what I have already done. No longer neglecting the learner and the creator in me this year, and lighting a new fire for life!

Your point of view and your story will always be yours. Tell it. • • • When it seems you’ve lost everything, perhaps you are being made to remember who you were and what you were before these things came into your life. You’ve lost your comforts, not yourself. Remember who you are and what you are capable of. • • • Sometimes you have to go back and pull the parts of you to help tell your story today. This may be without the company of others— for as long as it takes you to remember your purpose. • • • Tell your story. From the beginning so that all that you feel doesn’t make sense will be told in whole. • • • Honor your story, like a letter to an old friend. Tell them what you have learned to be true. Tell your story… so they may understand what you were placed here to say. • • • 📸 @mahinahina.choy ✨ 💄 @shoyu_bunnie 💖

Life is ceremony, and you are the ritual. The wisdom you accumulate shall be your tradition. • • • I have often mentioned that life happens for you and not to you. It has been a little over a month that I made the decision to ordain. The state of mind I was in was more than difficult, but it brought me where I needed to be. There are a few perspectives to this story, even within my own recount of how and why. • • • Traditionally, taking monastic vows and giving up worldly possessions was done to thank the parents that raise us. Because I honor my spirit and outwardly exist somewhere in the middle between male and female, I ordained as a nun in white. Although I never got to don the saffron robes of a monk, this brief ordination has unlocked deeper understanding and wisdom than any ordination I would have experienced as what the world designated a little boy. • • • Existing in this body, I could not hide who I am. Like any religious sect, there are rules in place that may be limiting and make it difficult for someone like me to face and coexist. There were some challenging moments that I had to process on my own with no one else to call or consult with that would truly know what I was feeling. But by changing how I react, removing ego, and designating where those rules land within my own truth and understanding, I was able to return to my peace without denying my worthiness to be in the same space, to breathe the same air, and taking up the responsibility to continue on my spiritual path. I continue to process and am greeted with knowledge that has to be experienced in order to know.

Humbled and free. The only words I could think of to describe the process of detaching from something that I have felt so identified by, empowered through, and safe behind. • • • Letting go of the past. Letting go of what has felt safe. Rejecting fear and embracing change and the unknown. Liberating myself from the attachment to this physical body and remembering that I am a spiritual being taking up residence in this temporary home. • • • My position on hair cutting is more complex and layered now that it would take a while for me to fully express the sacredness of our hair and it’s connection to the divine and unseen. To cut mine was no lighthearted decision, but one that came just before my 36th anniversary and involves layers of my life experiences that harp on my perception of where I see myself within the practices, beliefs, and rituals that have all guided me in this lifetime. • • • A month ago, I decided to make this change for an indefinite time and I hope to find the words and phrasing to properly share this with those who are receptive when the time is right. • • • For now, I am grateful that I made it past my third cycle. I know that there is still work for me to do as I am still here, still breathing. 🙏🏽

Space fish

Cosmic Lounge • • • Grateful for the time in Kona this weekend. Mahalo e @kumukahihw for having me as a guest at Raise the Runway, and uncle @tui72 for seeking me out on Oahu to ask me to come to Kona with my sisters. See you folks next year! 😏 if not sooner. • • • Capping the night off at @mybarkona lounge. 📸 @aloharris

Feeling #koi • • •

POV: you got good seats at the next show, and I can’t stop blowing you kissies 💋 • • • I am excited to join The Ladies of @allurehawaii along with @thelucasbrand this Saturday night at @thebsidehnl , located in Ward. • • • Doors open at 10:30pm | Showtime time at Midnight. • • • $5.00 off before midnight w/flyer • • • 📸 @mahinahina.ce 💄 @shoyu_bunnie 💅🏽 @vv.vixen

Every time I get on stage, it is a celebration of the trans women who have come before me and have shown me that it is possible to live openly and safely. They have passed the torch to us to continue the work they have continued from the women before them, and that is a great responsibility. To exist, to be visible, to let people know that we are allowed and meant to be here. • • • I am late in posting for pride month, but then I remember that we celebrate our community every day! • • • Mahalo to those who continue to come out and enjoy LGBTQIA+ events all year long. Thank you for coming out to support our brunch show at @buhocantina you folks are the reason we can continue to put these shows on. • • • … I really mean it. I finally showed my mom a clip of my performance and I got nervous when I was almost naked. All she asked was if people tip me every time. I said, “I sure hope so!” So thank you for keeping my mom happy and and me out of trouble 😂

CATEGORY IS!… • • • Bring it to the Runway Ball • • • ***HVW walks TONIGHT*** • • • Doors at 10:30, ball begins at 12 midnight. For more info check out @teighlor808 video posted