Ruben Chavez

The shadow (i.e. all those things about ourselves we don’t want to acknowledge) only becomes a problem when it is ignored. - This is because when we repress or disown certain aspects of ourselves, we split off part of our consciousness—and consciousness is the essential ingredient for growth and development! - The more consciousness we have available, the more we can grow because the more perspectives we can incorporate into our experience. - Conversely, the more shadow material we accumulate, the less consciousness we have at our disposal to fuel our development. This leads to dysfunction and suffering in various areas of our lives.

If left unacknowledged, even small annoyances can build up over time and have a negative impact on our mental and emotional health. - One way to deal with this is through an automatic writing practice (also called stream-of-consciousness writing) where you write down everything that’s bothering you without censoring yourself for, say, 20 minutes or so. - The idea is to make your unconscious, background annoyances more conscious so you can see them with more clarity and perspective. And so they don’t fester and turn into something more destructive down the road. - Just as we can engage in certain types of cleanses that detoxify the body, automatic writing is a way to detoxify the mind—or at least keep the toxic load to a minimum. - Have you tried this?

Facing my shadow, one dementor at a time.

Can’t stand people who bluntly speak their mind? Perhaps you’ve rejected your own assertiveness. - Do you get irritated every time someone makes a mistake? Maybe you’re denying your own imperfect nature. - Disgusted by those who strive to accrue power? It could be that you’ve abdicated your own personal power and agency. - Conversely, do you idolize people who are smart, talented, beautiful, etc? Perhaps you’ve disowned these very qualities within yourself. - The more conscious we become of our rejected qualities, the more we can own them and integrate them into our lives rather than project them onto others.

Everything has a shadow side. Everything can be taken too far, including the values and traits you consider to be positive. - If you aren’t aware of this, you are a danger to yourself and others. - The name of the game is balance.

“Cockiness is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky it’s because there’s something you don’t know.” —Eoin Colfer

I don’t know who needs to hear this…but you are not supposed to feel happy all the time. Normalize the full range of human emotions and experiences. Setting proper expectations about life can help you deal with it more effectively 🙃

Hi remember me?

I send out gems like this in my newsletter every week. You should subscribe if you haven’t 💁🏻‍♂️ - Also, if you like this post, you’ll love the article I just published: “4 Steps to Become More Self Aware” - 🔗 in bio

Don’t get “caught up” in negative emotions 😉 - Acceptance is a skill that requires courage and a certain strength of character that only comes from repeated exposure to difficult or unpleasant experiences. - It’s also an essential skill for integrating your shadow, which I believe is the most important work of personal development. - What did you think of my Harry Potter analysis? 🧙🏼‍♂️

Acceptance isn’t about resignation or complacency. It’s about mindfully observing our discomfort rather than being carried away by it. - Practicing acceptance helps us honestly perceive whatever experience we are having so that we can respond in a more constructive way. In some cases this might mean doing nothing. - Acceptance can can also look like: - - I’m feeling angry. - I’m feeling scared. - I’m noticing self-critical thoughts. - This grief feels heavy in my chest. - I’m starting to get annoyed. - How do you deal with difficult experiences?

Self-sabotage is when we hide things from ourselves on one level that impede our progress on another level. - The process of overcoming self-sabotage involves facing our shadow and excavating these hidden needs, desires, and motives from our unconscious. - Because when we are conscious of these aspects of ourselves, we can address them in constructive ways rather than letting them influence our behavior in frustrating and mysterious ways. - The psychologist Carl Jung made a profound observation that summarizes this perfectly: - “Unless you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”