Easy in theory, more difficult in practice. No one gets this perfectly. We may be able to see our partners more clearly than they see themselves sometimes and vice versa but this must be handled with gentleness and respect. If our calling out what we see creates a further divide, then try a different way. There’s a saying that honesty without grace is cruelty. Even with grace, sometimes we or our partners are going to get defensive even if it’s said with care. But often, if we take some time with the feedback there’s usually some gold in there for us. This of course is assuming both people are committed to inner work and self-awareness. The goal in conscious relating isn’t to analyze and fix your partner to be how you want them to be. It’s about seeing the potential for more depth of love by being vulnerable and honest with one another. Ultimately we must focus on what we are bringing to each interaction. What energy are we embodying, are we leading by example or making demands of our partner that we don’t honor ourselves? Holding space, being vulnerable, bringing humility to conflict, being willing to repair, these things are all a two-way street. Do you have a partner who’s willing to do this work with you? Tag them. 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana

Happy Full Moon in Capricorn lovelies 🌕 With the Sun in the watery sign of Cancer and the full Moon in the opposite earth sign of Capricorn - we will be asked to find the sweet spot in-between, balancing these opposing forces. The energy of Cancer is asking us to listen to the whispers and gentle nudges from our intuition and the Capricorn energy is providing us with the ambition and determination to take aligned action in our life. What are you ready to let go of and what are you calling in for this lunar cycle? Let us know in the comments below. Go to RisingWoman.com to read the full report and for a beautiful ritual bath by Guest Astrologer @daniellebastier. A graduate of our astrology apprenticeship and one of our teachers.

On July 3rd, we are graced with an ambitious first full lunation of the Summer, a Super Moon in the sign of Capricorn. As the Moon basks in the Sun’s rays we open our hearts to receive her wisdom and lessons, with greatly magnified perception. When the Sun is in the watery sign of Cancer, the Moon will be full in the opposite earth sign of Capricorn. These cardinal signs mark the beginning of a season and the start of something new. The Sun in Cancer is reminding us of what we need in terms of emotional security. It is shining a light on the practical measures we can put in place to create a solid structure within which to surrender and soften into. The balance of water and earth.  Most importantly, the Sun is shining a light on what is no longer working for us, so that we can release and let go. This is an important Full Moon because the Lunar Nodes will be changing signs on July 18th, closing an 18-year karmic cycle, as the nodes move into Aries and Libra. We are officially standing between the old and the new. So, then, what is the ‘new’ that we are building for the long-term? When the Sun shines all of his glory upon the face of the Moon, it illuminates and reveals all of her being, allowing us to see clearly that which was not obvious before. With these opposing forces at play, you may feel pulled in two different directions. Capricorn is the adult and Cancer is the child. Capricorn is masculine structure and Cancer is feminine feeling. The Full Moon is asking us to find the sweet spot in-between, balancing the opposing forces. We are in Cancer season, so listen to those whispers and gentle nudges from your intuitive soul. The Capricorn energy will provide the oomph and the ambition to take strategic, aligned action. You will be feeling more determined than ever to get the job done. Go to RisingWoman.com to read the full report by Guest Astrologer @daniellebastier. A graduate of our astrology apprenticeship and one of our teachers.

There will never be a perfect partner out there. Only someone who’s perfect for you. It takes time to learn this, but in long-term relationships and marriages we have to embrace that there will always be something to work on. It’s more important that we find someone who inspires us to grow. 🪴 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana

She’s here friends, I’m thrilled to announce that my new Becoming the One Guided Journal is now available for pre-order 💐 🦋 The pages feel like silk and beautiful art work is woven throughout. 🌿 Nature rituals, beautiful tea and bath recipes, somatic practices and thoughtful prompts to guide you deeper into relationship with your wholeness. You can find it at @indigo online this week for their most anticipated authors promo and online where books are sold. This makes a gorgeous gift, and is designed to be a companion to my book but stands alone beautifully too. Much love and appreciation, 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana

I have some news that I’m so excited to share with you all 🎉 Over the past year I’ve been working on something dear to my heart and I’m so excited to finally share it: Becoming The One: A Guided Journal has officially launched. One year ago, my book Becoming the One became an instant international bestseller thanks to you! I created this journal as a deeper guided inner work journey to help you gently and compassionately explore your patterns, learn new ways to connect with yourself on an emotional and spiritual level, and develop a crystal-clear vision of the life you want to create. This journal is an invitation to reclaim the parts of yourself that you may have lost touch with and create a deeper relationship with your own heart. To celebrate the new journal, and as a THANK YOU for pre-ordering your copy, we’re doing a special gift giveaway! Everyone who pre-orders the journal and fills out the form will get my brand new soothing nature visualization meditation sent to you on September 19th, the day the journal is released… AND you’ll be entered into a draw to win a ‘Tea with Shay Bundle’. 5 lucky winners will receive: * A group tea date on zoom with the opportunity to ask me a question or an email Q+A with me directly * A signed journal from me with a personalized note * A 1:1 chat with me (30 minutes) * A Rising Woman necklace Click the link in my bio to learn how to claim the meditation and enter the draw. Good luck 💕 @sheleanaaiyana P.S. To my fellow Canadians: I’m thrilled to announce that Indigo Chapters has included my journal in their Most Anticipated Canadian Books offer, this week only, at a special price of 20% off - so be sure to get your copy from @indigo

Having an anxious or avoidant attachment pattern can make it hard to trust our gut in relationship. When we identify as having relationship anxiety, find ourselves chasing unavailable love or if we came from a history of childhood dysfunction and chaos in our family system… there is a good chance our nervous system is in a dysregulated state and it is wired for chaos. What this means is what our nervous system and our body perceives as “normal”, is actually not healthy love or attachment. In order to be able to trust our body and know the difference between healthy and unhealthy love, we have to work on creating secure attachment within our nervous system. We also need to learn how to widen our capacity to receive love and actually let healthy love in. This can be a lot more challenging than we think, especially with an anxious attachment system… There can be a tendency to disregard the love gestures that are coming toward us or to even sabotage and push them away. We can also tend to go after people who are avoidant and in some way hard to get, instead of being attracted to people who are healthy for us. If you resonate with any of this, it’s possible to heal and it’s more than possible to change the pattern. But it’s not going to happen with mindset work. Mindset work is powerful and necessary, but alone it’s not going to change our relationship patterns. What we need is somatic work for our nervous system. We need to actually let the body know that it’s time to heal. We need to let the body know that it’s safe and that it’s safe to use our voice and set boundaries. In my new program, Freedom from Relationship Anxiety, we focus a lot on how to access safety from within. This isn’t about powering through or destroying our pattens. This is about gently opening ourselves to a new way of relating through practicing vulnerability, being seen, letting love in - and really taking good care of ourselves by embodying the mature wise Inner Adult and tending to our Inner Childs needs. The doors close in two days, click the link in my bio to grab your spot 💕 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana

In my programs when we are working to untether from relationship anxiety and end addictive behaviours to love chasing, we focus on a few key things: Taking a break from the dating apps Pausing situationships Devoting more time to healthy connections So many people don't have any safe place to go to with their most intimate fears and longings. Practicing vulnerability with friends and within community can help to reduce that sense or urgency one might feel to find a romantic partner. We can breathe a little bit and allow the natural timing to unfold rather than pushing and trying to force something before its time. Connecting with likeminded people who are going through similar experiences as you is deeply healing and can give time and space for our self-esteem to increase. In my program Freedom from Relationship Anxiety, we'll gather together live each week (for 6 weeks) to practice new ways of relating, and I'll be giving you personal support on the journey of rewiring your nervous system and becoming secure. I designed this program to be a safe space and container for practicing vulnerability and for deep healing. Click the link in my bio to join this group of amazing souls 💕 @sheleanaaiyana

I know that rewiring our nervous system may sound daunting and like a big task. But really all we need to do is practice subtle new ways of being with ourselves & our patterns. While there’s a lot out there that glorifies ‘intense growth’ experiences. When it comes to anxious attachment patterns, that can do more harm than good. Gentleness really is key for our healing. There is so much power in the subtle. The anxious attachment nervous system can flare up easily, so it’s important we understand how to work WITH it in a way that feels safe…because if our system doesn’t feel safe, we won’t heal. One of the absolute best practices I’ve experienced for accessing our true emotions, processing energetic blocks and cultivating safety within is a practice called BreathWave. 'BreathWave’ is a gentle and effective self-healing practice focusing on our own breath, flowing as an open, relaxed and continuous wave. Some forms of breathwork are way too intense and jarring for the nervous system and can open up too much too soon, which we don’t want. The gentle approach of BreathWave allows us to actually regulate our nervous system, cultivate safety and help us access our true feelings & tenderness. While many anxious attachment folks feel A LOT, the honest truth is we’re often not feeling our TRUE feelings. We can be overwhelmed in the chaos of the triggered nervous system feelings… OR we can be totally shut down from our feelings altogether. Being able to feel our true feelings is also key to healing. After experiencing a BreathWave session myself during my 3rd trimester, I knew I had to add this powerful practice to the Freedom from Relationship Anxiety Program. The doors to Freedom from Relationship Anxiety are now open and when you join the live program, you’ll get 2 BONUS BreathWave Sessions with an incredible facilitator and friend of mine, Robin Clements. I’ve taken all of my training in attachment and somatic work and put it into this program, so you can rewire your nervous system and heal anxious attachment patterns for good. Click the link in bio to sign up. 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana

This week’s New Moon in Gemini moves us away from the spiritual intensity of the last lunar cycle and into a more mental level. It’ll bring more communication, mental downloads, and the invitation to say what needs to be said. If you’ve been holding anything back now is the time to speak it! Write, speak, write a letter, write a poem, journal. This is also a great time for setting intentions around what you want to communicate and to whom.  What intentions are you setting? Let us know in the comments below 🌙 Go to RisingWoman.com to read the full New Moon report by Resident Astrologer @andrea_dupuis

A Spiritual Relationship rooted in consciousness, truth and love is not something we arrive at. It is built slowly, day by day, moment to moment. It is an ever-lasting commitment to baring our hearts, putting down our swords and letting ourselves be seen. It is a daily renewed devotion to our Beloved and a willingness to see them through with fresh eyes and curiosity every single day. We are closed when we choose to hold our partners to the version of them we've created in our minds rather than seeing them in the present moment. We are closed when we keep score, build resentment, hold back our truth, defend and guard. We are open when we choose a worthy partner and devote ourselves to love and truth. We open as we put down our swords, reveal our hearts and let ourselves be seen. Spiritual Relationships are not something we arrive at, they are a way of being, a devotional practice that requires our life energy for as long as we breathe. It is a mistake to think we know everything about our partners, there is always more to be revealed. Moment to moment reverence, endless curiosity, mutual devotion, and commitment to truth, respect, and love above all. These are the ingredients we need. 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana

Do you know your love language? 💕 Did you know that sometimes our love language changes depending on the season of life we are in? Remember to check in with yourself and your partner if you’re in a relationship because staying connected takes work. And remember that this stuff isn’t reserved for just romantic relationships. I know my friends love languages too and we all do our best to love each other those ways. Whether is in a roommate situation or a marriage - posting your love languages on the fridge or somewhere visible in a communal space is a great way to keep the love buckets full. 🌿 @sheleanaaiyana