Lyndsey Hookway
International Speaker | IBCLC | Paediatric Nurse & HV | Mother | Author of 5 | PhD student | CoFounder HSCP | Breastfeeding the Brave | Kindness first
-% of @lyndsey_hookway's followers are female and -% are male. Average engagement rate on the posts is around 0.46%. The average number of likes per post is 414 and the average number of comments is 23.
@lyndsey_hookway loves posting aboutEducation.
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If you’ve stuck with me you may be wondering about the obvious question – does sleep training even work? In my previous post I talked about 3 different child responses to ST – rapid responders, slow responders and non-responders. I don’t deny that some parents seem to report a relatively quick positive response from ST, and once again, for the record, I don’t judge anyone. But what I’ve found is that those who are most likely to sing the praises of ST are those for whom it appeared to work quickly to get their baby sleeping longer, more consolidated stretches. You don’t hear very much from the people who tried it, and found it took a realllllly long time, was very stressful, or just didn’t work. You also don’t find those people evangelising about how it needed to be repeated after illness, teething, developmental phases or other big changes. So, am I saying sleep training doesn’t work? Absolutely not. Am I saying there is no guarantee it will work in the way you want it to. Yes. Over the last 3 posts, my aim has not been to dissuade people from choosing sleep training. It is to ensure that parents are able to make a fully informed choice. The problem is that there is so much bad science, and it’s interpreted and used by people who don’t know what bad science is. Not everyone has the skills to critically analyse a research paper, understanding the methodology behind it, and being able to tap into a wide selection of related research to be able to comment on the practical implications of bad science. I’m sure I’ve rattled a lot of cages. It’s almost unavoidable when it comes to an emotive topic like sleep training, but I hope you all know that above all else, I believe in kindness first. But kind doesn’t mean sugar coating. I believe the folks following me here don’t stick around for me to superficially paper over the cracks in evidence. My guess is that most of you appreciate not only the gentle sleep tips and pragmatism here, but also a critical lens. Next up: what to do if you’re desperate but don’t want to sleep train… #sleeptraining #gentlesleep #lyndseyhookway #holisticsleep #childsleep #holisticsleepcommunity #gentleparents #babysleep
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If you saw my post on ST research a while ago you may still have questions! I hope it’s clear on this page that I am not here to judge. The previous post was about not relying on the studies we have to prove safety. For the avoidance of doubt, by ST, I mean cry-it-out / controlled crying. I know ST is sometimes used as a catch all for any sleep support, but that’s not what I mean. If the studies only prove that in a biased sample, there is no evidence of harm, but equally, no definitive proof of safety, how do I answer this question? Well, hopefully with a mash-up of combined experience, knowledge of wider literature, pragmatism and common sense… Each child, family, and dynamic interaction is unique. Each child has different resilience, buffers, genetics, stressors, environmental triggers, temperament, sensitivities, home situation and life chances. Each parent has unique mental health, relationships, social pressures, knowledge, parenting skills and past experience including trauma. Each parent and child develop a unique interactive relationship built on trust, attunement, responsiveness and secure attachment. None of these factors exist independently - they interact. Attachment is also not a single event, but a complex process, built over time. Do I think that a break in responsiveness during ST will have the same effect on all children…. How could it, with all those variables? I’ve seen 3 types of response, discussed in more detail in Still Awake (2021): Rapid responders, slow responders, and non-responders. I’m more concerned about the littles who are non-responders, because they may have a more prolonged/intense stress response. But there are many factors. So while I will never judge anyone who sleep trains, nor make sweeping statements about either harm or safety, I will also never actively promote it. I simply do not know any child well enough to be able to guarantee that they have the resilience, security and coping mechanisms to promise no harm #lyndseyhookway #sleeptraining #sleeptrainingresearch #nosleeptraining #sleeptips #sleephelp #gentleparents #gentlesleep #gentlesleeptips #holisticsleep #holisticsleepcommunity
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I want to start a short ST series so stick with me for a few days... There may be many problems with ST research, but today I want to talk using the studies to suggest that they prove safety. The best way of proving that intervention A (i.e. ST) does not cause outcome B (i.e. stress, strained attachment, feeding problems etc) is to do a randomised controlled trial, accounting for the confounding variables that exist. Here’s the kicker – you can’t do a sleep training RCT. You can’t because a) you’d need to randomly assign parents to a control or intervention group, which isn’t ethical, b) you’d need a representative sample of the *whole* population, and frankly, many parents wouldn’t consent to a study in which they might be randomly assigned to the ST group, and not all babies would be suitable, and c) the parents and researchers would have to be ‘blind’ to which intervention they received. Obviously a parent knows what sleep technique they’re using because interventions are very different and parents aren’t daft. For this reason, we only have studies that have bias and validity problems. Parents are recruited to studies in which the details are open. Even if they are ‘randomly’ assigned to a control/intervention group they still know that this is a possibility, which influences their decision about whether to take part. This means the studies have selection bias. There’s also a certain amount of trial effect (where people *perceive* a difference purely because they’re in a trial). Parents who *know* their little one is sensitive, has feeding struggles or mother has a vulnerable milk supply, where there have been strains on the attachment or the parent knows their baby isn’t suited due to their temperament, are unlikely to take part. Therefore, what we have are studies that *at best* have not found proof of harm in a highly biased, small, self-selected homogenous group of people at a particular time, with incomplete accounting for confounding variables. By the way, this is not about exhausted parents who have sleep trained. If you’ve followed me for a while you’ll know my compassion for all. This is about using flawed science to make false claims.
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I know I often talk about what could be better in paediatrics in terms of lactation support. But you know what’s also important to acknowledge? What’s already going well. I love paediatrics. I really do. I miss clinical paeds nursing and I have massive respect for my paediatric colleagues. This population and speciality are really important to me, and although I’m the only one researching it, I know I’m not the only one who cares. In pointing out where paediatrics could be better, I don’t want anyone to think for a moment that there aren’t pockets of excellence. It’s not the full package yet for sure, but there are many lactation ‘heroes’ (this was a specific theme identified in my research study with mothers) in paeds and I want to give them a shout out today. The nurses who hunted down the breast pump and made it their mission to work with mothers to help them achieve their breastfeeding goals in the midst of child illness. The paediatricians who put breastfeeding high on the list of priorities alongside excellent critical care. The clinicians who make time to sit with mothers and let them offload, listening, being an emotional container, and showing up. The therapists who thought creatively, who stayed up late doing a google scholar search to figure out a way to make it work. The staff who undertake breastfeeding training in their own time, even though it’s not mandatory and unfunded. The other staff who remembered that it’s the little things – the smiles, a warm hug, the ‘well done’ and finding a sandwich or making a cup of tea at 2am. Here’s to the paediatric heroes. I see you. Now let’s make sure you’re better supported. #paediatrics #paediatricicu #paediatricheroes #lactationsupport #lyndseyhookway #lactationinpaediatrics #paediatriclactationsupport #breastfeedingsickchildren #parentsofsickchildren #breastfeedingthebrave
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I’m thinking today of anyone (including myself) who finds the school holidays a bit of a juggle. From experience, the thing that often is the first to go when we’re busy, stressed and juggling, is our own self-care. I’d like to take a moment to encourage you to find a way to take care of yourself this summer. For those who hear sentences like that and feel overwhelmed at the thought of yet another thing to do, I get it. So I’ll break this down into five key areas: 1. Beyond basic needs - Rather than just shovelling food in, try to pause and taste what you’re eating. Rather than having a 2-minute shower, stay a while. Use moisturiser. Say no to stuff you don’t have time for. Set boundaries. Little things that make you feel better are a good investment in yourself, and they don’t have to cost much/anything. 2. Relationships - Do you carve out time to hang out with people who fill your cup? The older I’ve got, the more important my female friends have become. You also need to be able to spend quality time with your partner (if you have one). Even just getting a date in the diary for a couple of weeks’ time will lift your spirits. 3. Interests outside parenting - I know when my two were little I also barely had any energy for anything else even if they were asleep. I really do get it. But try to do something that you enjoy. What interests have you shelved or put on hold since caring for others – whether at home or work? 4. Sleep - Your sleep matters too. I understand tweaking your own sleep may seem pointless if your child doesn’t sleep for long unbroken stretches but there are things you can do to improve your sleep at any age and stage. Practical tips on this on my full post on my blog. 5. Exercise - This is a fairly recent realisation for me and from finding the daily dog walk a chore, I started on an exercise bike then worked up to running. I now see it as essential to my mental health and it's helped my sleep too! I’d encourage anyone who feels apprehensive to start with something small. How are you carving out time for self care in the summer holidays? #summerholidayselfcare #workingmums #workingmoms #workingdads #supportingparents
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Ok, I’m often asked this question whenever I run a Q&A. Of course you don’t *have* to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. You can wing it, go with the flow, let the days and night roll how they roll. But a lot of people would suggest keeping a loose wake up time in the morning, including me, from about 3 or 4 months. The reason is 3 fold: Firstly, this can help with their circadian rhythm – starting the day at roughly the same time is helpful for your body clock. Secondly, it can help you to get a bit more predictability into your naps. It’s really hard to establish any kind of nap rhythm if the wake up time is different every day. This can also mean bedtime is different every day too. Thirdly, it can give you a little bit of order in the chaos. You have to accept a certain level of chaos with kids, but at least if your day starts about the same time every day, you know what time you’re getting up (or passing the baby to a partner while you go back to bed!) and you probably can predict at least the first nap. It might help you plan your day more easily. I’m not talking militant timings here. Keep it flexible – I talk about a ‘grace period’, allowing 30 minutes either side of your target time to keep some room for manoeuvre. Finally, if your baby wakes at a variable time every day, you may need to split it down the middle. So if some days are 6 and some are 7, make 6.30 your approximate wake up time. Have you tried this? Or do you plan to? #plannedwakeuptime #wakeuptime #morningwakeup #lyndseyhookway #holisticsleepcommunity #holisticsleep #holisticsleepcoaching #holisticsleepcoach #babysleepcoach #childsleepcoach #infantsleepcoach #babysleeptips #childsleeptips #infantsleeptips #naptips #naps #morningroutine #babysleep #childsleep #infantsleep #gentlesleeptips #gentlesleep #gentleparenting #gentleparents #tiredmama #tiredmum #tiredmom #tireddad
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It can be so annoying to hear that something so hard is normal can’t it? I’m mindful that on this page I spend a lot of time providing education about normal sleep. I spend a lot of time telling it like it is. I spend a lot of time telling folks that stuff that is really hard, that some other pages may try to sell you a ‘fix’ for, is actually normal. And I’m constantly blown away by how many of you stick with me. I don’t know if you know this but despite the alphabet soup after my name, two decades of experience and a successful business, I sometimes write content whilst cringing inwardly at how it may be received. I imagine hundreds of you unfollowing, publicly slating me and moving on to a page where someone is selling a more palatable message for those 3am desperate google searches. But you’re still here. Of course, that’s probably because *you* know it’s normal too. You stick around because despite knowing that kids being kids is normal, occasionally you have those moments of doubt and need to be reassured that it’s not you. It’s not even your child. It’s just normal. And hard. Normal can be frustrating because you can’t fix it. If your child is anaemic, you can fix it with iron and dietary changes. If they have a tongue tie, you can book a frenulotomy and work on the latch and feeding. If they have an allergy, you can eliminate the allergen. I’m not suggesting that any of those things are easy. Of course not. They can be nightmarish at the time. I’m also not suggesting that anyone wishes an underlying cause or condition on their child. As a parent of kids who have had more than their fair share of illness and medical complexity I know full well most parents would suffer any hardship if it meant their child didn’t have to. Finally, I’m not suggesting that if your child’s sleep is normal, that there is nothing you can do to make things better I guess I’m saying I know how hard it is for you to hear that the things you find so hard are normal. Normal isn’t easy. Normal is hard in a different way. Normal means there’s nothing to ‘fix’ as such. Normal means we need to look to find sustainability, rather than eliminate a problem.
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