It is easier than ever to disconnect from ourselves. Drama, division, dependency, distraction. Even when we are fighting for what we believe in, we do not need to pay homage to the cult of suffering. It is more important than ever to find our untouchable divinity; our infinitely beautiful center. We must take our strength and power back, then learn to source it from our own radiance. We must source joy and pleasure from our body’s wisdom. We must source presence and gratitude from this moment’s unique miraculousness. We must source compassion and creativity from our mind’s brilliance and imagination. We must source narratives of beauty and truth from our ability to look into the kind of future we want, and then learn to embody them.

So excited to return to the desert and create beautiful art with @utadventure Photo: Tim Lesser

I have been taking inventory of the places where I am not living in a way that is true to myself; where I am not allowing myself to chose the most beautiful story. I am feeling a deeper sense of my own limited time as a living creature and found that there are many areas of my existence where I am already stagnant and dying. I’ve also noticed where I have allowed my culture, upbringing, relationships and fears to shape my decisions-rather than my own sense of joy or deep knowing of what is right for me. I feel lost right now. I know what I don’t want, but I am not entirely sure what I do want. One thing is for certain though: I know I have the power to create a life that truly fits me, rather than simply trying to fit into the world I have been offered. I know that I can contribute to a more true and beautiful future. I know that I, like the spiral of an uncurling fern leaf, am guided by the wisdom that moves all living things. This wisdom is communicated in a language which I am working to re-learn because I was taught to override it in favor of outside direction. This voice is both myself and not myself. But, it is always accessible through my feelings- not emotions, but the feeling of yes and no within my body. In order to find the truest and most beautiful life for me, I am tuning into my body- her feelings, desires, instincts and knowing for guidance. It is terrifying to trust myself like this. It takes baby steps. But I want to have the courage to live from a place of love, expansion, freedom and curiosity rather than fear, security, habit and tradition.

I am thrilled to announce that once again I’ll be joining the @utadventure tour, June 17-22! My last experience was pure magic, and it was incredible to create with so many talented photographers and work with such passionate models. I can’t wait to see what we make this time! There is only one spot left for this tour, so if you have been wanting to join, now is the time to sign up! Let’s make breathtaking art in extraordinary places 💕 (Photo by Tim Lesser)

“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been.” -Glennon Doyle, Untamed

True love is a divine transcendence It removes you from your false self- perhaps by turning your life upside down, or tearing apart your carefully crafted safety net of beliefs, or forcing you to redefine everything you thought you knew. It is fire and sweet nectar. It is pure and deep as the ocean. It is a hurricane that you cannot weather. When it sweeps through your life, it will bring you, weeping and trembling to the sacred heart at the center of all things. There, you are offered the healing drink of remembrance: of your innate holiness, untouchable perfection and unbreakable belonging to all things. This is a place all of us know as true, but a place where we cannot truly linger. Once your new and dazed eyes have adjusted to the light and you’ve wandered back into a semblance of reality, you will spend the rest of your precious time trying to rebuild everything you can touch into that love’s spiraling, laughing shape.

It felt so good to get out and shoot again after so long! Working with @david_monson_photo got me very excited to model for the @weston.photography Boyer Ranch workshop in July. There are a few spots left! If you’re a photographer who is also stir crazy and want to get out, make art, connect with other artists and have a special creative experience, I suggest looking into it. Follow the link in my bio to learn more and sign up. Let’s work together!

My beautiful friend @malynnnelson just sent me this photo she captured last summer. We and some of our dearest girlfriends took a road trip to Moab so we could take nude photos. I’m so grateful to have adventurous, radiant, powerful and supportive women like them in my life! This summer is going to be filled with a lot more trouble... starting this weekend! 😉 @lindseydarger @jessie.holbrook @lillylav @julietachiarablog @whitneynicolelee @kinleycarter @cortneys.journey

My mother teaches me that it is good to be wild, weird and free. Though she never tells me in words, her actions show me that it is my birthright and responsibility to claim this gift of life and make it my own. She always does things a little differently than most people. She dances to her own inner rhythm. Growing up, I overheard other adult women call her weird or shame her behind her back. To this day I watch her make difficult decisions that often bring scorn and judgement from others. But, her choices ultimately honor her truest self and are made in the name of love, growth and freedom. I am still discovering what a gift it is to have a mother who is willing to be misunderstood for living authentically according to her own inner compass. While it may hurt to be gossiped about, judged and ostracized, she knows that it would hurt much more to cut off pieces of herself to fit in. She always encourages my creativity, expression and free exploration. She always accepts me fully. I am so grateful for the life she gave me and the courage she is passing down to me to live a life that fits me, rather than fitting myself into someone else’s life. (Photo by Tim Lesser)

Today was a day I needed to remind myself that I want to live a powerful life. Today I was given the opportunity to chose between empowering myself or collapsing into my darkness. I chose to straighten my curved spine, relax my hunched shoulders, soften my tight jaw and breathe deeply of the moonlit twilight air. I chose to feel deeply. To let my anger, anxiety and insecurity burn until I was clean; until I could hear my soul speak. This is what she said: “You are not here to impress or appease. You are not a victim and you are not weak. You are sandstone and starlight. You are fierce and free and wild. Your beauty is not perceived or applied, it is inherent, textured and vital. Surrender that which is heavy and painful. Return to the moment, your body, your power, the earth. Reclaim your reality.”

Desert backpacking trip with my mom 💜 much needed connection, starlight and wildness.

My body is wise. She is my guide. I am practicing a life Directed by her ‘yes’ What turns me on? Who lights me up? When do I feel relaxed and at peace? Where do I feel connected and free? What moves me emotionally? Why do I feel repulsed or turned off by certain things? Am I closed or open? How am I breathing? I believe this is how the earth speaks- how she would guide me like she does a sapling into its innate potential and greatest stature. When I listen to my body, I listen to the earth. I end up where I need to be. Always. This is how I find myself in the path of magical things. (Photo by Tim Lesser)