Perhaps it’s the not knowing that’s been the gift all along.

I am back after my self-imposed stay in social media purgatory. Well, I don't know if I am back per-say, but rather I'm popping my head up to see how the weather is out here now. Last year I felt the weight of social media in a way I never had before. Anyone else feel the same? I don't know if it was because it was year two of this global collective trauma or because I had an immensely difficult year in my personal life or because I was just fed up with the ever changing rules and metrics... But your girl was capital 'D' Done. When I started this account, I posted whenever I had something relevant I felt moved to share. I wrote about any and everything regarding the human condition. I didn't worry about an algorithm, who was reading it, if it fit into a "niche"; I just... wrote. Directly from the heart and shared because I wanted to garner community from collective experiences. At the end of the day, all I wanted was for people to feel seen and witnessed. But as social media has developed, and the pressure to post every day has increased, and the algorithm has shifted, I felt like my message was getting a little lost. And I was getting a little lost in it. I didn't really intend to take a hiatus... I just did and with every day that passed I felt better and better about not being on here. And less and less sure about what I wanted to use this space for in the end. I'm still figuring it out honestly. I don't have the answers yet. But I wanted to pop in to say that if you're also reassessing your relationship with social media, whether personally or for business, I honor and see the space that you are in and I am sitting there with you. Cheers loves. Rebecca . . . . . . #coaching #coach #lifecoach #relationships #relationshipquotes #portugal #lisbon #douro #socialmedia #socialmediabreak #realtalk #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #selflove #selfdevelopment

Listen to that again. Continued apologies without changed behavior to accompany the apology is just manipulation. An apology actually has three steps: 1. The recognition of wrong doing and the ability to express remorse. 2. An explanation of what went wrong and how they will ensure they don’t make the same mistake in the future. 3. CHANGED BEHAVIOR. If they do all of the other parts but then don’t ever actually change the behavior that allowed the transgression to happen in the first place and then they just keep hurting you, over and over… Babe, you’re dealing with the markers of emotional manipulation (aka emotional abuse) Other massive red flags to watch out for: 🚩 getting upset at you for calling them out on their behavior rather than being upset at themselves for doing the same thing again. 🚩telling you that you’re interpreting the behavior wrong and it’s not the same as last time or it’s not a big deal (gaslighting). 🚩finally saying that they’re sorry and it won’t ever happen again with zero plan of action of how it won’t happen again. 🚩 repeating the behavior and caring less and less every time it happens. Who in your life did you immediately think of when you watched/read this? How often has their behavior been repeating? What boundaries have you tried to implement? Do you perhaps already know it’s time to walk away? . . . . . . #reel #reels #reelsinstagram #instagramreels #instareels #reelsvideo #redflags #igreels #relationshipquotes #relationshipreels #reelrelationships #apologies #apology

Someone can be a kind, loving, well-respected person to everyone around them. They can be intentional, joyous, and committed. Hell, if you were writing down what a “good person” looked like on paper, they might check every box. That does not mean they are a good person FOR YOU. It also does not mean that they are going to be a good person TO YOU. See, there is an alchemy to relationships. Each person is a different ingredient, and regardless of who those two people are individually, it does not always mean that they are going to be a good fit when put together. There are ingredients that are wonderful on their own, but when put together they react and create imbalance. Additionally, someone can be a good friend, and still be toxic AF as a partner. Someone can be kind and generous in their community but still treat you like dirt. Someone can look like god’s gift to humanity, and still wreak havoc in your life once the door closes and you’re alone. It does not matter if they are a good person to every single person who knows them, that still doesn’t mean they’re the person for you. Your person is going to be good FOR you and TO you and WITH you. . . . . . . . . #relationships #relationshipquotes #lifecoach #quotes #quotesforthesoul #wellbeing #overallwellbeing #selflove #foodforthought #conditioning #inspiration

Let's talk time. Traditionally, the way we would have described time is the progression of events from the past, to the present, and into the future. An unchangeable sequence bound by physical laws that states time moves linearly forward. With more studies done by physicists, there is always new information emerging about the distinction between general relativity and the inherent randomness at the quantum scale. The only evidence we actually have of any moment that is not in the present now, is our memories. However, our memories are not concretely reliable. They're basically a structure of neurons in our brain that come together to tell us what happened last week and the week before. Which is why some physicists say that the best way to describe time is a series of nows. Meaning all that you really have, and all that you really know is what is happening in your present now. Does ten years really mean more than ten days? Does one night really have less weight than one hundred nights? Does time actually have anything to do with it at all or is it about the exchange of energy and the series of constitutions that are happening in the now? Look at sunsets- how drastically a measure of time can completely change the sky from light to dark with a dancing array of colors filling the sky in between. Whereas that same unit of time in a room with someone you can’t stand will compound on itself dramatically. Think how instantly the world changed after meeting the first person who truly “sees” you. How sobering one moment of a health scare can be. How quickly one person, one moment, one connection, one conversation can undo and change everything. If the entire effin universe isn't actually bound by time, neither are you or your feelings, ya get me? Tell that person you love them. Allow that one conversation to change your life. Let go of all the shit in the "past" that keeps you from living your now. Embrace what is in front of you because it's truly all that you have, all that you know, and all that you are.

Toxicity 101: people who try to make themselves more powerful by putting the people around them down. This is just one type of toxicity in people, because it can take make different forms and shapes But a basic barometer test is does this person ever amplify my power, worthiness, wholeness, or do they only ever want me to amplify theirs? In moments of struggle, am I always left feeling depleted because they always need to win? Is my voice being suffocated when I try to speak because they don’t like the mirror I’m holding up to them? Is their sense of self composed of strung together external niceties they extract from other people? Toxic people are like cancer, the longer they go undetected in your life the more they will infiltrate every single part of you. Let’s get down to business: who in your life do you need to cut out? And do you need to borrow scissors?! Cuz I got you! . . . . . . . #reels #igreels #instagramreels #reelinstagram #reelinspiration #reelcute #motivation #encouragement #relationships #lifecoach #lifecoachforwomen #toxicrelationships #reelsvideo #inspirationalreels

Every Thursday living in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I would attend Monk Chat. An exchange program where by chatting with the Monks in the local temple, they would be able to practice their English and we would be able to talk with literal real life monks (🤯) and ask them absolutely anything we wanted. One particular Thursday, when I was feeling extra moody and in my feelings, I asked the monk what he believed dictated suffering. Easy question, eh? He responded without hesitation, "Attachment." As I just stared at him, he continued on, "You attach yourself to people, stories, places, and the way you think life is supposed to be. You create all of your own suffering in your attachment." "Well isn't it natural to become attached to who and what you deeply care about?" I asked. "No, no, no," he muttered while shaking his head and wagging his finger side to side. He then proceeded to say: "Nothing is yours. No person is yours. No place is yours. Which is why true contentment and peace is found in release. When your hand is clenched shut, you end up holding on to people that are not good for you or who don't want to be there, to ideas that are no longer for you, to memories you need to let go of... You want to suffer less? Open your hand. Realize that you will never have to cling to anything meant to stay with you." I can't tell you how many times in my life I have returned to that conversation. Is there anything that you're clinging to right now that is causing you suffering? What would release look like for you? Where in your life can you start practicing non-attachment? . . . . . . #wordsofwisdom #quotes #lifecoach #writersofinstagram #buddha #attachment #nonattachment #lifequotes #wordstoliveby #relationshipquotes

After getting home from having a few drinks with friends last night, I walked into my apartment and as the door shut behind me I took a deep breath as the sweet energy of solitude met me and my body relaxed into the stillness. I quickly embraced the transition, shedding my boots and leather jacket in exchange for pajamas, fuzzy socks, and an oversized sweater. I brewed a cup of tea, threw on a blanket, popped on Modern Love and and nestled into the corner of my l-shaped sofa. Have you ever seen it - Modern Love? If so, what did you think? I found myself completely taken with it. Episode after episode, tea after tea, I found myself immersed into each story line. The search for love, the acceptance of loss, the retelling of heartbreaks, each episode cataloguing the myriad of ways in which love imprints itself deeply into us. There's this beautiful thread that connects all of us - the desire for belonging and connection. The desire to be truly seen and held by someone. The desire to be witnessed on every layer of your being and in the witnessing being fully loved and accepted. There, in the middle of the night, bundled up in cozies, I found safety. Safety in how human it is to desire love and connection, how layered and intricate and surprising each person's stories are on their journey to it. And how sometimes it's the not knowing that makes the journey what it is. I hope you too, in whatever corner of the world you are nestled into, find safety in the truth that your story is unfolding exactly as it should. . . . . . . . #modernlove #connection #communication #belonging #thoughtsonlove #lifecoach #coachforwomen #lovequotes

There can be something almost instinctively scary about letting go. Whether it's saying goodbye to a relationship, accepting that a friendship is over, moving on from a job... We leave most things with claw marks on them. But letting go is nothing more than accepting change. Look at nature. A cool breeze on an otherwise stagnant, humid day. Rain during a drought. Flowers that are blossoming in the spring time. The gorgeous colors of fall leaves. Change in our lives is like the breeze and the rain and the ceremonious cascade of autumn leaves. It's different from what has been, but what a mighty beautiful thing that is. . . . . . . . #empoweringquotes #lifecoach #lifecoachforwomen #empowermentcoach #inspiration #motivation #wellbeing #mindset #hellofall #helloautumn #wellbeingwarrior #movingon #lettinggo #relationships #relationshipquotes

A couple of years ago, I was in Bosnia and Herzegovina taking a train from Mostar to Sarajevo. The slow passing of fir and spruce trees overshadowed the cabin, crisp winter air nipped at my ankles as it wafted in from outside, and a smile sneaked its way onto my face. In that moment, a flashing light found me. A moment of remembrance. The soft entrance of clarity. Because in that moment I found myself so present. I awoke into that moment. Simply admiring the beauty of the scenery before me, but I had simultaneously been thinking about the beauty of the future and the sorrows of the past. The what ifs that lay ahead of me, the broken hearts that lay behind me, the absolute brilliance of everything that was currently meeting my eyes. Because what a beautiful thing it is to be fully awake and alive in the moment, yet hopeful enough for the future, and in harmony with the peaks and valleys of the journey before the moment of here and now. It is my hope for us to be women and men that have our hearts open enough for clarity to find us over and over. On train rides in Bosnia. On the path of the sojourners in Spain. In the supermarket in our home towns. For our souls to have space to be heard. For our minds to continuously seek out ways to be wiser. And more than anything, for us to be resilient to anything outside of ourselves that makes us doubt that we can be, and do, and say, whatever resonates with our souls. ♥️ . . . . . . #empowermentcoach #inspiringquotes #motivation #inspiration #lifecoach #empoweringwomen #wellbeing #wellbeingwarrior #travelstories #deprogramming #wordsofwisdom #expatlife

Hello from Portugal 👋🏼 🇵🇹 For those of you that don’t know me well, I am a Southern California native living in Lisbon. Beginning of 2017 I said 🖕🏼to the corporate life, monotony, and endless questioning of what else in the world was out there for me and took off on what I thought was just going to be a one year backpacking trip around the world. Little did I know what endless magic was on the other end of that first flight. It’s been 4.5 years since that decision… …and *spoiler alert* I never went back. I spent the first few years on the road, hopping between Europe and SE Asia, South America and Australia, and everywhere in between. The beginning of 2020, I was craving deeper connection and intimacy and decided to put my suitcase away and placed down roots here in Lisbon, Portugal. You don’t have to want to travel the world or move abroad like I did. There’s no right or wrong way to live a life… But what I want to show you is that whatever life you have, I want you to have it because you CHOSE it. See my goal is really simple: to empower you. Empower you to reclaim your life, your voice, and your power. I want to guide you on the journey of taking your life off autopilot and placing your foot back on the gas pedal, your hands back on the steering wheel, and navigating your life down every road you dream of exploring. Is there something holding you back? Let’s locate it. Is there a dream you want to turn into reality? Let’s make it happen. Want to build a life but don’t know where to start? Let me help you with those blueprints. Truth is that my mission has long been very simple: to help you unravel all of your internal narratives holding you back so you can be, do, create, whatever the fuck you want. So glad to have you here with me on the journey. ♥️ . . . . . . . . #empowermentcoach #empoweringquotes #lifecoach #wordsofwisdom #motivation #inspiration #wellbeingwarrior #personaldevelopment #lisbon #portugal

Hit the save button on this one 👉🏼 because this is wildly important! A few weeks ago I posted about how I’d been using this question as a way to get out of an emotionally unregulated place and I wanted to expand on it here. Here’s the red hot truth: life is an absolute bitch sometimes. And when life feels like it’s giving you the one, two sucker punch to the face, it can be hard as hell to try and respond in a manner that serves the you that exists at your core and not the unregulated version of yourself that is potentially showing up in unhealthy ways. So ask this question. Time and time again, whenever you feel like you’re off kilter, you’re giving into unhealthy habits or desires, you feel unregulated, ask yourself: What would the most empowered version of myself do right now? Then act accordingly. What would the most free, loving, unattached, highest goddess version of yourself do in that exact moment? Then embody her. Be her. Act as her. Because baby girl, you are her. Ya just might need to remind yourself of your own fire every once in awhile. And I got your back. 😘