“Weighted” a photo essay I created in the midst of feeling the worlds weight on my shoulders. Thank you to my friends for helping me out with this. It meant so much - a lot of time went into this. I’m proud of myself for not letting my anxiety, fear, procrastination, and financial situation get in the way. Find my photo essay and new blog post on the process of this shoot linked on my bio 🦋🧡 Production: @happypplstudio Art direction: @jackavelithedon Stylist: @conchitaqween Talent: @henryrjonesii Gaffer: @justlamarcarter Key Grip: @jbenavente_

Honoring mothers for TILL movie screening at @neuehouse 🫶🏼 I am beyond grateful to have been able to shine a light and honor space for our black mothers, daughters, sisters, sons, and fathers this night. We deserve our flowers 🌸 big thank you to @michaellatt for having me 🤲🏼🌟 PA: @justlamarcarter lighting & backdrop: @trokonv

New work with @spotify for Spotify Frequency - from The Bay to LA ❤️‍🔥

A bunch of first time mommies and myself have shared our thoughts around routine this season. It’s nonexistent 😂 I thought my lifestyle as an artist was spontaneous enough. I never know what my mornings will look like now. For the most part, I am able to sneak into the bathroom in the morning before baby can see or smell me (yes they can smell you) and brush my teeth at least. Some times I get lucky and can hop in the shower plus do my face routine. It’s been really helpful having a partner who is also an artist. We are able to move around more freely and hand off responsibilities when the other has something they want to get done. But when that’s not an option or we want to simply give our partner a breather to take a nap or take that call, baby wearing has been essential. Wearing baby has helped us bond with Malik. He can enjoy contact naps while we move around the house and hear our heartbeat amongst other things 💓 Are you wearing your baby? Is your baby currently into contact naps? How do you get things done with baby? Do you have help? Shot on @leica_camera @leicacamerausa Edited on @lightroom

One thing social media is great at is making you feel like you’re not doing things correctly. Breastfeeding was something I changed my mind about a couple of times during pregnancy. I shared with my doula that I wanted to combo feed, which quickly changed to exclusively breastfeeding after I heard the benefits it had on me and baby. One thing I’ve been learning over and over during this journey is that this is a luxury not every mother has. It’s ok. Ten days into postpartum I shared my symptoms of vision loss and headache to my doctor. He urged me to go to the emergency room to insure this wasn’t preeclampsia. Calmness is something I’ve been cultivating my whole pregnancy. Instead of losing my cool I immediately thought to myself “how will my son eat if I have to go to the er?”. Just like that Justin and I started looking for stores that carried @bobbie — we found one all the way in Compton (far from where we were) And that’s how our combo feeding journey started. In that moment of us almost being on the edge of desperation we learned how to become flexible for our baby. Any negative thoughts around formula/combo fed babies quickly went out the window. @bobbie has been a game changer for us ever since. I mention this story because sh*t happens and like I’ve mentioned in my older post, things don’t always go how you expect. As long as your baby is fed and your spirit is fulfilled you’re good. Was breastfeeding hard for you? How did you overcome it? Did you have an experience where you had to pivot for your baby and lifestyle? Shot on @leica_camera @leicacamerausa Edited on @lightroom

On September 9th at 10:37pm I met the sUn that would forever change our lives. Thank you for making my body your home and showing me how strong I can be. Today, we celebrate one month of your endless love, smiles, and cuddles. Give thanks Malik🌞🌈 Say hi everyone 🧿🪬 Shot on @leica_camera @leicacamerausa Edited on @lightroom

My only message today is to keep on swimming, we are in this together 🌞🌈 Shot on @leica_camera @leicacamerausa #chasingleitz Edited on @lightroom

Night falls and hormone shifts. What an exciting time to be back home with your new addition. Nothing prepared me for the first night back home as parents. There’s literally no manual book on how to care for your new human just like there’s no manual for your ever evolving self journey. 🌟 You have to figure it out with a being that can’t communicate in words yet only gestures and cries. What a beautiful way to communicate you’ll later discover. How brave of you to show us what vulnerability looks like so early on in your life. I dreaded nightfall for the first week of postpartum. The setting sun symbolized the sleepless night I’ll have ahead. Waking every two hours to a crying baby who needed feeding. A message came days later through a friend at the flea market, “the sun never sets,the earth and the sun revolve around the moon” Some thing about this message soothed my spirit. I interpreted it in different ways, the sun shining elsewhere until morning returns (never really leaving you) or the idea that, as parents, we’re in a state of constant motion around the emotional and hormonal state represented by the moon. Perhaps my ruptured sac during induction brought all my emotional selves to my bedside guiding me through this eternal, ever-evolving emotional journey. Nightfall may have been teaching me to embrace vulnerability and acceptance, mirroring our newborn's willingness to express and adapt to the new normal. Shot with @leica_camera @leicacamerausa Q2 #chasingleitz Edited on @lightroom

At 41 weeks into my pregnancy, I quickly learned to adjust my expectations for the upcoming journey with our baby. My birth experience was a mix of reality and humor, affectionately dubbed "Peace Love Epidural." 🌈🌟 Like many expectant mothers, I had preconceived notions about how my pregnancy and birth would unfold with Malik's arrival. However, most of these expectations didn't align with reality. Looking back, I'm immensely grateful for how things played out. My birth experience exceeded my initial expectations. When you're in the moment, you realize the need to make decisions that prioritize your baby's well-being (and your own) over the fantasies you may have had on a birth plan. Kudos to the moms who achieved exactly what they wanted, but also kudos to those who had to adapt amid difficult decision-making. I had certain expectations around induction, an epidural, breaking my water, my doula (via insurance), tearing, and exhaustion from breastfeeding. Surprisingly, I wouldn't change any of these aspects. Every moment of my 12-hour labor and roughly 20 minutes of pushing felt guided by a higher force. Breastfeeding we’ll chat about later.. This experience taught me to make on-the-spot decisions, a skill I'd struggled with before. It allowed me to distinguish my genuine beliefs from the projections of other mothers. I learned to trust in Western medicine and the dedicated black and brown doctors, midwives, and nurses (@_clare.bear_ ) who supported me. Most importantly, it reminded me that labor isn't a competition, and there are no trophies for choosing suffering over medical interventions. The ultimate goal should always be a healthy baby and that path looks different for each of us before, during, and after birth 🌞 give thanks Shot on @leica_camera @leicacamerausa by @justlamarcarter #chasingleitz

In the warmth of South Central and 9/9 portal, we welcomed our love in the form of a beautiful baby boy, Malik Antonio Carter 🌟🌈 I took this image of my boo and our sUn from the hospital bed after laboring. legendary ish❤️‍🔥 Shot on @fujifilmx_us x100v

I had fun editing these 🤎@celestialgall shot at my studio @happypplstudio using my @canonusa R5 with a 28-70mm f/2 canon lens lighting by @justlamarcarter

Test shoot with @celestialgall 🎀 shot at @happypplstudio using my @canonusa R5 with a 28-70mm f/2 canon lens lighting by @justlamarcarter 🌸 Usually I’m not one to label photos on my portfolio as test shoots because my ego thinks every project needs to be grand. but this one was a simple and inspiring way to regain my creativity. ~ In my mind I think making a shoot more complicated will attract more people ~ However, this test shoot reminded me that photography is about creativity beyond backdrops, props, and concepts. It allowed me and reminded me that creation happens way before my camera is even picked up, it’s happening during those moments where I am connecting with the people in front of my camera and working on the image on post. This test shows the various ways we created that day; through friendship, collaboration, mood-boarding, and just catching vibes with my new @canonusa camera. Simplicity freed my mind 🌟