Fill in the Blank. Be thoughtful. What truly would make your heart happy?

Eventually, I stopped hating my body, mostly because it was unsustainable to continue hating this part of me I needed to live with. I was wasting years of my life thinking all my best days lay on the other side of a weight loss, dreaming of thinner moments and tinier clothes. It was a few years after this declaration — turns out liking who you are makes your life, like, a million times better. 💖💖

Since Covid happened, do you find it challenging to have conversations with people? Many of us were already socially awkward ....but I feel like, the pandemic, took it to a new level. Astronauts and polar explorers who spent extended periods in isolation... report that social skills are like muscles and that those skills can atrophy from lack of use. People separated from society — by circumstance or by choice — report feeling more socially anxious, impulsive, and awkward when they return to normal life. This week, I was talking to someone and I swear, the entire sentence came out backwards. 😂 Hahaha.... I feel like we are all just bumbling around, like social awkward bumper cars right now.

What happened to Instagram.... happened slow. It started as a free market. There were no algorithms. You followed someone and you saw all their posts in the order they were posted. Like a blog with photos!!! Like a story that just keeps unfolding (I loved that)... In the beginning, you could talk openly about difficult topics, without worrying about being censored (politics/bullying, alternative norms outside of what is acceptable) - You have to be so careful now. You cannot rock the boat.. I cannot even talk about my job anymore for fear that my account will be terminated... If you have not done so already, please consider joining Twitter (you can find me @londonandrews ) or Reddit (I have a sub reddit at r/londonandrews ). I am doing my best to be more active on both sites. 😉

Part 3 of 3: Fast forward to 2019, when the cysts from PCOS and HS suddenly, disappeared (crazyyy, rught?) and psorasis started bubbling up all over my body. A condition in which skin cells form red, painful scales and itchy, dry patches - The patches started small and were easy to cover-up with makeup.... An elbow. A knee. But the scales and patches, started spreading. My face. My scalp. Inside my ears. Until 50% of my body was covered. The scales have been... debilitating, to say the least. The scales have made modeling nearly impossible at this point (yet here I am still creating every single month because I keep telling myself that I cannot give up). I have tried so many things since 2019: Anti-inflammatory diets, yoga, meditation, tumeric, black soap, tea tree, oil pulling, Vit D, Vit A, Vit E, more B12, salt water baths, Oatmeal baths, cold water showers, CBD oil/balm/spray, smoking THC, edibles, fasting, removing soy, only whole foods, creams, ointments, steroid injections. I have not tried an all-meat-diet (because gross) and I have not tried human breast milk (because also gross) - Last week I made a huge decision to go on Humira (which is a Biologic that weakens your immune system... scary stuff) but I am not running out of options ... 🤷‍♀️ So. I am two weeks into Humira. And I will let you know how it all goes

Part 2 of 3: In my 20s, I started having a lot of pelvic pain, but also a lot of weird skin issues. Like facial hair and cystic acne.... I did not have healthcare so I went to Planned Parenthood hoping for answers. They ran a few blood tests and did a pelvic exam and they said, "You have PCOS.". PCOS is short for Polycystic ovary syndrome. It is a semi-common hormone disorder for women of reproductive age that can cause problems with fertility, weight, skin, unwanted facial hair, adult acne, baldness, acne, cysts in the ovaries... So began my journey with PCOS. I did a lot of research (although there was not much information about it a decade ago) - And I switched through several diets trying to lose weight and settled on a vegetarian diet. Joined a gym. Did my best to keep my body in check.

Part 1 of 3: I have been dealing with auto-immune issues since I was 16 years old..... It started with Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS) which is an auto-inflammatory illness. HS forms large cysts, sometimes the size of quarters or golfballs, under the skin. I used to think they were zits (they weren't) - I remember asking a family member (who is a doctor) what the cysts under my arms and breasts were and she said, "You are just dirty. You need to shower more." As a teen, that was incredibly damaging - I started bathing three to four times a day. Of course, that did not help at all. And it left me struggling with my self confidence all through highschool and college. Modeling was nearly impossible some days, but I still made it work with tattoo makeup and coverup... When I turned 25, I was, finally, diagnosed with HS and I, finally, had a name to put to the illness!! It was not from "being dirty" - It was an auto-inflammatory illness.

Choosing to care for animals in a sanctuary setting is a 24/7 commitment (and I am 110% committed) - Yet..... I LOVE that modeling allows me to escape for 48 hours every month - I can only travel within a one hour radius (because we drive home twice a day to check on the animals) and when we rent a location, we are working and shooting 80% of the time. But in between work, it feels so good to just swim in a hot tub or hike or sit next to a fireplace. I loved the escape this month to Portland. Felt so good to be in the forest

If you live in Washington, there will be an event at Exile Tattoo put on by @presleydavistattoo in Olympia benefiting @onalaskafarmsanctuary - @diadelpastel will be selling vegan treats - I will be there from 4pm-7pm...! Happy Halloween!

What do you love the most about curvy bodies? 💖

If you need me, I will be wrangling kittens and hugging some cows over on @onalaskafarmsanctuary

Which one is your favorite? 1 or 2?